You know that “it won’t happen to me” attitude that so many of us have? As the weight was initally pouring off of me I totally had that attitude. In fact, until about eight weeks ago I still had that attitude. I would see people on Instagram or Facebook in a “plateau” and think “they must be doing something wrong, I am doing it right”. Karma gets me every f’ing time.
I was talking to my husband last night, who let’s face it, should be given sainthood for dealing with my shit the last fifteen years of marriage, let alone the last eight weeks. He is so supportive of me and so willing to do anything for me to be happy and successful. I might keep all the shit around the house together, but he keeps me together and that trumps everything. The best part of Phil is that he calls me on my bullshit. All.the.time. I get pissy and then it makes me think and then I realize he is right and then I get annoyed that he is always right and then I do something about it. It’s a cycle and dammit he is always right. It drives me crazy, but I am so thankful that he is in my life. So last night Phil “casually” mentions that I haven’t written anything for the blog lately. SILENCE…Then what happens? I get defensive. “I don’t have anything to write. Nothing has been going well. I haven’t lost weight in eight weeks. No one wants to hear about that.” The excuses were really flowing at this point. It’s true though. I have been really down on myself and haven’t felt like I have anything to share. Then it hits me, I should be sharing this struggle so hopefully I can help other people out there going through the same thing. UGH, damn Phil. Here I am writing.
I’ve had a lot of transition over these last eight weeks. The trainer that I loved at my gym, the one that was really overly qualified to be there…she got a crap deal (in my opinion) and ended up quitting. It threw me for a loop. I was so used to weighing in with her every four weeks. Having her kick my ass at the gym. NONE of the training staff has even asked me if I am doing ok since she left. (sulking) Obviously, I am not blaming them for not losing weight. I am an adult and I can do this no matter who comes and goes in my life in the training department. It has been rough though. You know from my last post that my diet has been in transition. We went on vacation and I ate like the fat girl I used to be.
So, what do I do? I have been overthinking, overananlyzing, overresearching and overplanning everything about my eating and exercise. (Don’t worry, I do this in all aspects of my life. Phil really won the wife lottery with this girl). I keep thinking paleo vs. non-paleo, gluten free, counting macros, counting calories, strength training, cardio, functional training, more cardio, running, weights….There is so much information out there and everyone thinks they have the right answer for you. This is the struggle…and it is real.
I have been seriously considering hiring a nutrition coach. I spoke to one coach that would put me on a counting macros plan. This is huge in the body building world. It’s also called “flexible dieting”. Google it. It really works. Better yet, hashtag it on Instagram and see some amazing results photos. t’s a good balance of carb, fat, protein and calories. The thing that scares the shit out of me is it is total science. Like, you have to hit your daily target exactly to be successful. I spent an hour on My Fitness Pal plugging in meals trying to hit the numbers that I calculated for myself at IIFYM.com and I couldn’t do it. I have visions of a trainer giving me a meal plan and I am going to have to eat the same thing every single day for the next 40lbs. It’s not practical for me. (That’s an excuse…I can see that as I type it). Maybe I just don’t want to do it. It is not cheap to hire a nutrition coach. I need to be 100% committed before I would consider having someone invest that kind of time in me.
So what I am doing instead? I really thought back to when I was losing (don’t you hate when people use the word loosing? I seriously stop following people on Instagram if they use the word loosing. I might be judgemental, but there is only so much I can stand) the most weight and it was paleo and a shit ton of cardio. My body and mind are tired of paleo. It is the perfect way to eat. Please, please do it. I just am not there right now. My knee is feeling good so….it’s shit ton of cardio time.
I am diversifying my workouts. I am trying 90 minutes of cardio four days per week and functional/strength training two days a week. I decided to try the stationary bike the other day and I loved it. It was something new and the 30 minutes I was on the bike just flew by. So much that I am going to use a guest pass for Phil’s gym and take a spinning class. My thighs and hamstrings feel tight and sore. I love that feeling. I also traded out the dreadmill, I mean treadmill, for the arc trainer. I just can’t stand being on the treadmill for 30 minutes. It makes me want to poke my eyeballs out. I also took a Turbo Kick class. I NEVER take the choreographed classes at the gym. Not my thing. It was…different. It was a good workout. I felt like an ass clown, but hey. I need to step out of the box and try new things. I have FORTY more pounds to lose. If that means feeling like an ass clown for six months, so be it.
So that’s where I am. I am changing up the routine. I am trying new things. I am focusing on exercise over food. Most of all, I am experimenting to see what works and I am not giving up. I will never give up. I keep thinking that I can’t wait until all I have to do is maintain, yet I know that will be a new struggle all of its own. Patience is something I have a hard time with, can you tell?